Christmas and such...

While supposedly working on my master's thesis project, I decided to read the news online instead...the whole avoiding an unpleasant task issue.  I am always saddened, but never really surprised by the amount of violence against children in the news.  Addressing these issues with dignity and truth with my own children is very important to me.  I have never been one to hide things from my children about the reality of other's lives.  We are fortunate to have a strong and loving family.  We have a stable extended family in the form of friends that also help provide us a compassionate and loving environment for our children to grow up in.  The reality remains, though, that while our children are nurtured and loved I don't feel that it is ethical to teach them that all children are so cherished.

This brings up my oldest's least favorite discussion topics...discussing sex and marriage with children.  He is endlessly embarrassed by those discussions which these days have progressed to learning how to choose a mate that is ultimately compatible with your ideals, morals, and goals in life.  The number one rule is not limited to don't have sex until marriage, but instead if you can't discuss sex and its implications with your would be partner then you have no business having sex.  Ultimately there is always the possibility that sex can lead to pregnancy, so teaching my children that you should only ever have sex with a person that you can realistically envision having children with is the test.  

Another serious issue in choosing a mate is compatibility with your potential mate's family.  I have friends that have suffered for 10, 2o, and one for 27 years in a marriage with a man whose family treats her as though she is meaningless and insignificant.  I, like most parents, would like better for my children.  I had the benefit of building a meaningful relationship with my mother in law before she died at an unbearably young age from pneumonia.  Although two very different people, we learned to appreciate our differences and our similarities.  Helping my husband provide palliative care for her remains one of the most poignant and influential periods of my life.

Questions for today...

How to help alleviate suffering for children and families of abuse?

How to help our children choose mates that are ultimately compatible with them on a life level?

Continuing to communicate through open dialogue the importance of extended families as well as the critical nature of providing palliative care for the dying...